Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
