its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
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