do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
