I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
