i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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