I understand why you refuse to be sober now
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I don't want my vagina anymore.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Randomize