How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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