Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
