drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
she smelled like a LAN party
birth control should be required to get into college
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
