dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
