in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
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