Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Randomize