This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
