he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Mom said you looked used
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
