She is in my trunk
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Randomize
