my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
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