We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
