Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize