she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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