Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Randomize
