Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Welp...herpes.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
