i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
