watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Randomize
