I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
