awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
