He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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