Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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