the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
people are starting to question the shark bite story
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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