Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
i believe in u and ur pee
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