even my farts smell like vagina
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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