I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
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