I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
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