I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Randomize
