She announced her abortion via fbk
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Randomize
