oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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