Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
