I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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