Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
