I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
