So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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