i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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