Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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