walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize
