it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
not ubering you a puppy
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Randomize
