I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
