GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Randomize
