Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
