wrigley field is MILF paradise
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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