i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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