his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night