you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Randomize
