We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.