Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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