I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
