We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
You are a booty call, not a friend.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
