i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
