Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
