man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Randomize
