What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
