I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
The adults are the big ones right?
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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