Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize
