Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize