Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
