he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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